I was in a store recently and a woman said I looked great and she’d love to be my size. I never know how to respond to comments like this. All I could say to the sista was “you should embrace yours.” (in the most un-pretentious way possible- sounded like sweetie should've been attached at the end). I know we can be our own worst critics but comparison takes it to a deeper low. I wish we would all just love the bodies that we were given. The good the bad and the (seemingly) ugly. WHY do you think _______ is ugly? Who says it’s ugly? And do they REALLY matter? REALLY?
More often than not, you feel worse about yourself once you compare yourself to other women. Why even do it? I think it’s becoming instantaneous to compare. We need to catch ourselves if we find ourselves comparing. We should just stop at the “admiration” stage of this thought process and simply compliment the sista on whatever it is we appreciate about her look. ...OH and comparing to make yourself feel better is just mean-spirited. I won’t even address that type of energy. I don’t think you’d be reading this blog if that’s your nature.
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OK! Mini-experiment: Try NOT watching music videos and consuming celebrity gossip media for a week (or even a month-yes I said a month!) and see if/how your confidence increases. At the same time, get to know “the mirror you” especially the “naked mirror you.” Check her out, every facet. Greet her everyday with a positive message. “You are beautiful, Queen” “Have I told you how gorgeous you are today?” “I am strong, beautiful, independent and a good person” ...etc. The list can go on, get creative.
Who said self-esteem only had exterior elements? I honestly think beauty glows from within. Self-esteem starts from within. We have to have the inner confidence in order for the beauty to show on the outside- NO MATTER how “gorgeous” you think you are, or people say you are. Real beauty is effortless. Beauty doesn’t need expensive clothes, shoes, jewelry, cars, etc. Those are all, arguably, signs of the lack of inner beauty from within. I love to see a sista with a GLOW. No frills, just a glow that silently speaks volumes. Those are the people with whom I like to surround myself.
When you glow...you shine.
PostQuote...well PostPoem: By the illustrious Maya Angelou