Friday, May 22, 2009

Change Yourself, Change the World

I’m 100% sure that if we change ourselves, we have the ability to change the world. Why am I so bold to say change the world? Here’s my train of thought:

  • black woman changes/reinstates her true standards=
  • black man has no choice but to (eventually) oblige=
  • black family gets stronger, and is more prevalent
  • black family=strong values, morals, goals, pride, REAL education=
  • less fatherless children= less black juvenile delinquents, teen pregnancies
  • black family= important= less foolishness (b/c more to live for) =less (adult black male) jailbirds
  • once the black family in in tact...there is NO stopping us!=
  • then comes the stronger black community...again there is NO stopping us!=
  • more black owned/supported businesses
  • then we’re taking over!

The rest of this may not be cohesive because I am emphatically overzealous about this topic so here it goes. MMMAAAAAY sound like a rant, THAAAAT’S because it is....

We first need to respect ourselves, our sisters AND our brothers.

Just the rudiments of self-respect will change your world, and the world around us. I promise. You won’t take ish from anyone, because you respect yourself enough not to. You won’t let people walk all over you, because they obviously don’t respect you, and you KNOW the respect you deserve. You’ll have a different outlook on life. Surround yourself with respectful people. No more drama. You’ll have a new strut a new walk. You’ll attract a-whole-nother breed of people in your life. Your light will shine brighter than ever before.

But first let’s discuss a few factors...How do we get this self-respect?

  • how we dress
    • your body is NOT the only thing you have to offer men. REALLY, it’s not. You’re soooo much more sis. TRUST!!!  Nor do/should you need that male attention to validate you. AGAIN, you’re soo much more than that. Think about it,  if that’s the attention you seek, exactly WHAT kind of man do you think you’ll reel in slinging THAT bait? The one who wants to objectify and use you, that’s who. 
  • how we speak to/about each other
    • cursing is NEVER ladylike. try to keep it at a minimum. 
    • when’s the last time when a sister walked into a room, you greeted her with a smile instead of checking her out and assessing how much of the threat she may be in the inter-room dating pool
  • How we act
    • can we GET anymore divisive?
    • respect is a verb, not just a noun.
    • cursing people out in public, is not an option. be civil. get your point across eloquently as effectively without the added drama. realize that people WANT to see you act a fool. People pray on your downfall. All you’re doing is giving them the pleasure of getting under your skin. Recognize that’s ALL it is. Scoff. And move on. 
    • how we dance in the, seriously!
  • “chivalry is dead” ...the hell if it is. WE allowed it to vanish. WE allowed men to get comfortable NOT opening doors for us (store doors, restaurant doors, car doors etc)
    • if we’d just stand outside the place until he opens it, he’ll damn sure come around and open it. 
      • if we ALL wait for a door to be opened, I GUARANTEE a man will open it 
      • yeah we might be standing outside of a few places, or loosing relationships along the way but it’s for the greater good. I look at it like sit-ins. 
        • There was an inequality that was going on. One person/group of people refused to move until they were served. They might not have been served that day but these demonstrations were for their and generations to come to be able to reap the benefits of their tenacity.

All it takes is one person at a time to realize their role in the grander scheme of things. And once we’re all on the same page, at the same time, there’s no limit to what can come of it. 

Call it over-ambitious, call it being true to my piscean ways, call it whatever you want. But until I see it tried and failed, this is what I will believe until the day I die. And will be a living example. I challenge you to join me. 



  1. Sigh...We Pisces are dreamers but it is said that dreams are they way God speaks to us...

  2. "Know this again. The way is not the rule of men. The way is never women ruling men. The way is reciprocity. The way is not bareness. Nor is the way this heedless fecundity. The way is not blind productivity. The way is creation knowing its purpose, wise in the withholding of itself from snares, from destroyers.

    Our way, the way, is not a random path. Our way begins from coherent understanding. It is the way that aims at preserving knowledge of who we are, knowledge of the best way we have found to relate each to each, each to all, ourselves to other peoples, all to our surroundings. If our individual lives have a worthwhile aim, that aim should be a purpose inseparable from the way.

    Our way is reciprocity. The way is wholeness. Our way knows no oppression. The way destroys oppression. Our way is hospitable to guest. The way repels destroyers. Our way produces before it consumes. The way produces far more than it consumes. Our way creates. They way destroyers only destruction."

    by Ayi Kwei Armah, 2000 Seasons.

  3. you

  4. I couldn't agree more. I remember having a discussion loosely about this before with a black man who did not agree that the individual has a responsibility to the whole. I said that the problem with today's society is the "individual" who does not realize their impact on the world. So many people think: I might as well do this or that because I don't make a difference... but add up all these individuals and you have the universal consciousness of disrespect, selfishness, carelessness, and a big list of destructive thoughts that essentially destroys. The individual has to realize that each person impacts the world/community and that's a huge responsibility. We are all part of the whole.

  5. Yes Ladessa!!! The part=the whole. We've become so caught up in ourselves, our lives, our microcosm, only to loose sight of the bigger picture as you mentioned. "...headed for self-destruction" well as the destruction of the "whole." I totally agree with you. Thank you for sharing!