Friday, July 17, 2009

Live your LIFE!!! (*whispers* "ay ay ay ay ay ay")

Peace Queens,

Simply stated: You only get ONE. Live it to the fullest. Be your absolute best, at all times. Make wise decisions. Be the best YOU possible.

Do you realize you/me/we will never again see another June 1, 2009. There will never be another February 14, 1999, or March 29, 1989, never a “yesterday”...or even 5 minutes ago. Those days have come…. and gone. NEVVVVER to return again. We have GOT to make the most of our lives in EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. After reading The Art of Happiness a few years ago, I contend that the purpose of life: find happiness. PERIOD. No matter what that means to you individually, find it, do it, BE it. Bottom line.

We can’t waste time in a job/career we detest, in a relationship with someone who “just AIN’T IT”, around “friends” who don’t have our best interest at heart, following in parent’s footsteps when we REALLY don’t want to. Basically making decisions that hurt more then help. It’s all wasting TIME! Taking away TIME that you don’t have to waste. Again, you only have ONE LIFE. You have to make the most of it-whatever that may mean in your world.

As women, we are naturally nurturing/giving. Beware not to give SO much of yourself, that you lose sight of who you are, what you want, and your happiness.

Peace Family,

PostQuote: Time can be your best friend or your worst enemy. It’s all about how you use/utilize it. -Me


Try to eliminate this word from your lexicon. I petition for an end of its usage. It’s such an ungrateful word.

I personally think that “regret” is a metaphoric “spit in the face” to whoever’s in control (God, Allah, Krishna, Creator, Universe, etc) of your life. You went through every single thing in your life ON/IN PURPOSE. From low self-esteem, promiscuity, family deaths, and that secret abortion to prom night, bible study, soccer practice and slumber parties (all are random to enforce a point). You most likely won’t know the purpose of it WHILE you go through it, but the reason will reveal itself in due time (if really want to know).

Sometimes it’s hard to “see the forest beyond the trees.” That is understandable. But regret?! It’s a meaningless pity-party. You should be grateful that you’re going through these things because it ultimately means GROWTH in the end. You are supposed to learn a lesson from everything you go through. If not, my guess, is you’ll keep experiencing similar situations until you understand the lesson beneath it all. Hindsight is always 20/20 when you are ready to receive that lesson.

I want the best for everyone reading this and wallowing in past “mistakes” is not an option. Love everything that you’ve experienced- the good the bad and the unspeakably ugly. It was a gift. Be thankful


Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Randomness: "Love/Money; Love/Lust; Sex/Initimacy"

Peace Queens,

I've been absent so I feel like I owe you a few random gems I've been sitting on, thinking about over the past few weeks.

The three terms: love, money and intimacy are thrown around and in some circles, they are interchangeable (consciously or subconsciously).

I've heard that for some men Love=Sex and for some women Love=Money.

..::just think about that one before proceeding::..

For my sistas who believe this to be true (either consciously or subconsciously) please take this out of your mind/psyche.

Love DOES NOT equal money. Money DOES NOT equal Love. EVER!

Don't equate the amount/size of the gifts he gives you, the places he takes you, the size of the ring etc, to how much he loves you. It's superficial and you're worth so much more than that: YOU'RE PRICELESS. You, nor your love, has no price tag and CANNOT be bought! Learn that. Know that. It may feel good when you're basking in these things but demand more. You deserve non-monetary things that mean more and last longer (undivided attention, a warm embrace, quality time, unfiltered affection etc). And if this mean absolutely nothing to you, puh-lease take an introspective look as to why these things mean so much to you. (keep asking yourself "why" to dig deeper).

Love DOES NOT equal lust. Lust DOES NOT equal love. EVER!

This is an "oldie but a goodie." And at this point I would HOPE I would not have to add this one but I recognize that we are not all at the same place in our lives so I have no problem reiterating. Plainly put, lust is solely physical, love is spiritual, emotional, psychological,cosmic. Just because you lust after someone (relationship or not) does NOT mean you love him. To think that, is an insult to the phenomenon that is LOVE. Please never get the twain confused. One could argue that the two are mutually exclusive in that they cannot share the same space. And puh-lease take this phrase out of your colloquialisms "He can get it." I will dig deeper into this phrase at a later date. Just had to add that in right here. Quasi-relevant at this juncture.

Sex DOES NOT equal intimacy. Intimacy DOES NOT equal sex. EVER!

Another "oldie but goodie." I want this one to crystal clear to any/everyone who cares to read my blog. NEVER get sex and intimacy confused. Don't treat them as one in the same. Don't accept sex over intimacy. Don't even say them in the same sentence. They are on two opposite ends of the spectrum. Not neighbors, not cousins, not even friends. If they saw each other on the street they wouldn't even recognize each other. Enough of the metaphors. I really should say "f*cking and intimacy are not the same" just to make it that much of a contrast. Seriously, they are REALLY two totally different experiences. Sex is the male and female genitalia fitting each other like puzzle pieces, hand in glove, foot in shoe (repeatedly). Intimacy is an experience. A closeness. Affection. Care. Concern. Compassion. It does NOT have to include the act of sexual intercourse. There a million ways to be intimate, one way to have sex. (Different positions, but one technical way to DO IT). :)

That is all for now. I hope I've cleared up any misconceptions on these terms/acts/experiences. If you have any further distinctions, please share. If you disagree, do share as well.

Peace Fam.

PHOTO: Bethanie Hines, PHOTO DESIGN: Keira Chang (here)

Randomness: "Settling Down"

I don't like the phrase settling down. 'Yeah man, when I'm ready to settle down, I'll...', 'yeah, I'm about ready to settle down'

Settle ...down

Settle ...down

Settle as in to accept the conditons/options left with/remaining

Down as in lower, less, beneath, under, less than

So is this to say you accept the lower conditions u are left with? Are you just taking what's left in the barrel for keeps because that's your last resort?

I for one will no longer use the phrase for it has extremely negative connotations. Making a commitment to someone shouldn't be expressed as 'settling down.' It should be celebrated in a way to show this person's love/ commitment for another person....that he/she is mature enough to make this conscious, informed definitive decision in choosing a mate.

This phrase is a subconscious manipulation of the unity b/w man and woman. It's a complimentary unity and is supposed to be a purposeful decision, not 'picking at left-overs' of your life. I just think we should be more mindful of the diction we choose to use. Words have SO much more power for which we give them credit.

That is all