Long time! I miss thissss!!!

I miss blogging! I really do.

Life happened. I don't normally blog about me, but I'd like to offer an update/reason for my absence. And the only reason I haven't deleted the entire blog is because I believe knowledge&wisdom is infinite and has infinite possibilities. I personally, don't like seeing "stale" blogs so I'm just splashing a little sparkle on mine so it's not AS stale...

I'm working. Starting a business. Most of my life is spent eating, sleeping, working, researching. I love all my blog followers, visitors and net surfers who land on the site.

Little tid-bit.





If you ever want to know more about yourself, I recommend you check your birth/natal chart. It is an astrological tool that requires information such as your date, TIME and location of your birth to tell you things about yourself. NOTHING like the daily horus-scopes. It's like your fingerprint... It will only be about YOU! It's based on how the stars were aligned on the day & time you were born ALSO intertwined with the longitude &latitude of that manifestation (birth). POWERFUL STUFF! THEN, do the knowledge about what it means when which planets are in which sign for YOUR chart. DEEP!

TAKE IT A STEP FURTHER by keeping up with the planetary alignments and shifts as then happen. Prepare for them. Notice their effect on your mindset, emotions, sexual drive, moods, etc.


Point is.. it has opened up a new realm of "understanding self." It's our ancestors knowledge and I stand by THAT any day!

The Art of Letting Go

Peace,


There are events in our lives that we wish never happened. We've all been there. I just want to remind us that it is perfectly fine/normal/encouraged to "LET IT GO."

The pain may remain, but the event is now long gone. It's time to learn from it, grow from it, and become a stronger, wiser individual from here forward. I'm not saying there shouldn't be time to mourn our loss and/or pain. But that "time" definitely expires.

In an earlier post, I talked about the word regret and how we shant use the term. Im still a firm believer in this. We have to embrace all situations that are brought into our lives as lessons, without any exceptions.

How do you "let it go"?

Simple: Accept it as a lesson. Honestly, accept it as a lesson life wants/wanted to teach you. You have to believe this in your heart of hearts in order to move on. From there, you can dissect it to see what lessons are being revealed. Get creative. Big lessons, little lessons, they're all in there. NOTE: the lesson may not reveal itself immediately, but it will in due time. In the end you'll be thankful more than anything else.

OK....
that's my "living in a rosy world"/piscean answer.

But the truth of the matter is, each situation is different. Each person is different. There are MANY variables in the process of letting something go, both big and small. The core of my advice is 1) introspection never hurt anybody and is the key to self- mastery and 2) life provides lessons that we tend to overlook.


That is all...


Here's a few expressions we all know and love/hate:

1) Don't cry over spilled milk.
2) Build a bridge and get over it.



How can you drive a car forward if you're always looking in the rearview mirror?


Peace.


PostQuotes:
“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” – Dr. Seuss

"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward."- Author Unknown

"Some think it's holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it's letting go." - Sylvia Robinson

“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” – Alexander Graham Bell

You Can Be a Star!!!

Hey Lovelies,

Janelle's Monae's beautiful and smooth voice can lend some inspiration those for us who need it. You may not want to be a singer or even a celebrity per se, but this is still a source of inspiration. Apply this to whatever you have brewing inside of you: any goal, aspiration, passion, and/or dream you may have. I know you have one...or a few! We're born dreamers!

Enjoy!

AHA Moment: Perspective

Peace Queens,

I had to share this with you all.

So my book club is reading Hill Harper's "The Conversation." A book about black relationships. This man drops gems "all up & thru" this book. Pick it up! I'm not sure if I'm late or WHAT! But this message resonated with me. I've heard it several times from several outlets but this time it was heavy!

In the chapter "The Language of Men," Harper mentions how his friend wasn't raised around men so she may not be able to speak "the language of men" with ease.

The Aha moment happened just in that small reference. I, too, was not raised around men so this makes SO MUCH SENSE.

I have a limited perspective on "the language of men," the way in which they communicate, small idiosyncrasies, etc. Things that make men, men. The types of things a young girl would notice, recognize, learn, absorb, then subsequently understand as an adult woman. As an adult, I now realize that this "language of men" may be confusing, misleading, or foreign, but as long as I am cognizant that there IS an inherent difference, I open myself to possibilities, growth, understanding, and love. There ARE differences. No one's better or worse, just different. THIS is what I admire, respect, and appreciate. And in some ways, find beauty in. *swoon*

This is where I come to you all to spread the word that we have to be knowledgeable of where our point of view/awareness/understanding has its limitations. It will alleviate so much (potential) pain and confusion. From this, we can gain understanding and consciously push ourselves to have more patience with our brothers.

There is beauty in our differences. We just have to be willing to learn what they are, understand them and show compassion. THEN we can move forward, grow, create legacies and take over the world...but I digress. :)

Books like "Act Like a Man, Think Like a Woman" and "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" are sharing a similar message, but for some reason that small reference hit me in a special place.

Whether I'm late or not, I'm glad to have made this discovery/epiphany/overstanding. Life is all about those anyway, right?!

Peace Fam!

xoxo

Choose Happiness

Greetings everyone!!

Just a simple reminder for you to choose happiness. Whatever that means in your life. Choose it on a small scale as well as a large scale. I ascribe to the philosophy that if you choose happiness in the smaller decisions in life, you will undoubtedly create happiness in the long-run. It makes logical sense.

..::side note::..

(Re)examining or discovering what makes you happy may be a good idea

Metaphorically speaking, if you're following driving directions correctly, you will DEFINITELY reach you destination. If you get distracted and/or deviate from those directions, the journey may become difficult, it will delay reaching the destination. And if you stray far enough from the "plan" or directions, you may never reach that destination (in this case happiness).

I hope that made sense.

Always remember that happiness is a conscious choice, it doesn't come automatic in life. You have to work at achieving it. There are ways to seek, cultivate, and maintain it. This is all relative to each person's life. To each her own....really. I recommend finding it within yourself rather than relying on someone/something else to provide it for you. This is to ensure it's sustainment. People and things come and go, but the woman in the mirror will always be there! :)

That's all for now.

Love yourself.

Peace

No "Good Black Men" Revisited

Sistas,

Before we form our mouths to say “there are no good black men” we need to look at this from a different perspective. Here, we’ll visit the socio-economic factors then we’ll go into personal accountability.

BUT FIRST: It’s one thing to want a man that meets your “standards” aka requirements and it’s another thing to have unattainable standards. Reevaluate those first. Accountability.

It is fact that black men make up the MAJORITY of the prison population (in comparison to any other race&sex) and the MINORITY of the college population. So while you’re getting your master’s master’s, he has been going day to day being “a black man in America.” With this comes a lot: racial profiling, glass ceilings, being over-looked for “good jobs,” “driving while black,” street influences, pressures from every-whicha-way be they psychological, physical, emotional etc.

You HAVE never, and WILL never, walk a DAY in the life of a black man so beware of how you speak of these Kings. Being the advocate for personal accountability, I recommend that we be more conscious of the prejudices we place on our brothers. Check yourself before pointing the finger at anyone.

Maybe you get “dogged” because there is something in YOU that allows that to happen in your Queendom.

Maybe you can’t find “a good man” because of the places YOU’RE looking. Being uber-selective is a gift and a curse. Blinders can only leave you blind; blind to someone good for/to you.

You should know what a good woman is BEFORE you go looking for a “good man.” Know how you should be treated and why you deserve it. That will weed out SO much. Build yourself up before seeking your reflection. BE a Queen if you want a King.

Maybe YOU’RE not ready for what you’re looking for (emotionally, psychologically etc.)

I say all this to say, we should be more conscious of our thoughts, words and actions in reference to our brothers. The “easy way out” is to point the finger. Think about all the of the circumstantial factors before making such a powerful statement about the men with whom our legacy is dependent. There is no us without them and vice versa.

Peace & Unity.

This is a video I came across. I'm not in TOTAL agreement with all of the claims in this video, but I dig where the brother is coming from. Take a look.

What I Want for Us...

Peace Queens,

As the (calendar) year comes to a close, I'd like to share my wish/dream/hope for us. These come in no particular order, but they all stem from the initial thought of "health, wealth and knowledge of self."

For my sisters,

I want you to be in-tuned with yourselves: physically, mentally, spiritually.

Take time for introspection. Figure YOU out-at this point in your life.

Make THE BEST decisions. period.

Carry (and use) your own condoms. (it had to be said.)

Find/Create your happiness.

Be purpose-full.

Be positive.

Open your mind.

Support black owned business first. (I had to splash that in here too)

Invest in your health.

Dare to dream. Don't mistake improbable for impossible...

Read more.

Learn more.

Grow more.

BE more.

..::these are for you as well as myself. I am well-aware of my perpetual "room for improvement"::..

This is not a comprehensive list. I could go on ...forever. I honestly want the absolute BEST for my people, specifically my sisters. You/me/i/we make the world ...(go 'round). I think there is SO much potential within US, our existence, our enlightenment, our collectivity, our love. We just have to wake up and have a sincere interest in ourselves, our families, our community and our legacy. I chose to post this entry now because this is a time when most people actually think about their lives: reorganize, reevalute, "reboot, refresh, restart." This is something to consider this New Year's Eve/Full Moon/ Lunar Eclipse.

..::sidenote, really quick::..You=Moon (we share a 28day cycle, do the knowledge).

Full Moon= fullest potential. Sip on that. :)

Peace & Prosperity Queens.

PostQuote: "Live your best life"

To My Queens

This is for all the Queens, Mothers of the Earth, Womb-of-men.

Just in case you need a reminder...

Read

Beautiful Flower Lyrics

here.

More on Baggage...

I just wanted to share this gem..

"[Relationships] do not cause pain and unhappiness. They bring out the pain and unhappiness that is already in you" -The Power of Now

Think about this as a possibility.

..::INTROSPECTION::..

Peace.

Pack light

I send greetings to all, and to all I send greetings.

I'd like to talk about the idea/issue of "baggage." What this term has come to mean? How to recognize it and how to "pack light" as the Queen Erykah Badu puts it.

WHAT IS BAGGAGE?

It's simply emotional remains/scars/prejudices that are left on a person (male or female) after a relationship or an event. It can be small and have a small impact or heavy like the physical weight of baggage and have a long lasting effect on a person and their future relationships. Some argue, that baggage is a self-defense mechanism to ensure not getting hurt by the next relationship. I vehemently disagree. There is absolutely NO room for baggage in order for a relationship to be successful.

Baggage comes in all shapes and forms, to the point where some people don't know they have it. We're only truly cognizant of our own "baggage" when we have done introspection. This takes humility, an open mind, and truth. You need to humble yourself so you can see yourself for who you REALLY are (or have become). There is no room for pride or denial in this process; otherwise, you will not learn to know the TRUE YOU. An open mind is necessary for the new information you may reveal to yourself ABOUT yourself that you're not used to seeing. And finally, being true TO and WITH yourself is the only way to self-discovery. In this case, discovering the "baggage" if any.

HOW TO RECOGNIZE BAGGAGE?

Before I answer that, the first thing that comes to mind is "all men are dogs." If this phrase is a part of your speech at any given time, THAT'S a sign of baggage. Secondly, "baby mama drama" is not baggage unless the man allows it to be. HE has t-o-t-a-l control over that situation, or should. Ok, to answer the question: whenever you feel prejudices toward men or the man you're with: THAT'S baggage. NOT ALL MEN ARE ALIKE. Some may be SIMILAR, some may REMIND you of someone else, but they are as unique as fingerprints. They are not clones. The source of the baggage is your past experiences/relationships.

..::"but I don't want to get hurt again"::..

The source of the pain is no longer in your life. You can't blame and/or punish ManX for what ManY did. ManX has done no wrong. Even if ManX REMINDS you of ManY, he (ManX) is still NOT ManY: the source of your pain.

Packing light...

My personal trick is like the grade system in school. The day you walk in, you have 100%, it's up to YOU to bring it down. That's how I treat men. They have 100% of my trust and compassion until THEY mess it up...IF they chose to do so.

You can't expect a man to KNOW you've been hurt before, and it's quite unseemly to tell him. Let your past be your past. Keep your third eye open because THERE IS a fine line between not carrying "baggage" and not being naive to situations. Resilience is also key! Stay strong, be optimistic. And finally, introspection can illuminate and eliminate. Think about it...literally.

Peace Y'al!! xoxo

"I betcha love can make it better" (love of self)

..::image courtesy of Dawn Okoro::..